Ok, so, I am giant nerd and when I got home tonight I thought it would be great to spend my evening mapping out CN original shows and their life spans from the past 20 years.
Honestly I was curious if there was any pattern in style and content but all I found out was Ed, Edd, and Eddy was a BAMF of a show that lived forever.
the funny thing about dril posts is that they actually do have a structure to them– they hit a kind of conceptual caesura halfway through, a point where there’s no inevitable logical connection between what’s been said and what’s still to come. here, the first sentence didn’t need to result in the second, yet it’s not “lol random” either; the speaker is angry about his boss’ draconian ferret-kissing policy, and reacts in kind, and even the reference to a “screen saver” reminds us that we’re in an office. it’s a narrative progression that, despite having an internal logic, alienates its punchline from its setup. who the hell is this person?
one thing i love about @dril posts is how they all seem to take place in a universe that is somewhat like our own, but with the habitus of white middle america taken to a bizarre, absurd, but strangely logical conclusion. take this one, for instance:
so we have our setting: a security guard protecting the american flag in the betsy ross museum, something almost archetypically american and middle class. but once again the first part, or setup, for the punchline, “fucking the flag,” careens the joke into an alien punchline that still, given the setting, makes sense. @dril’s security guard character imitates a sort-of cop-talk, the banter of a security guard, “buddy, they wont even let me fuck it”. you can imagine a similar response from a guard at any museum, but we’re talking about Fucking the American Flag, here.
i really love @dril.
it’s astonishing that a human being thinks of those posts. some person, someone out there whose existence we have to infer, because all we know is that those posts occur and they must be coming from somewhere. “the @dril tweeter” resonates as “the beowulf poet” does, except beowulf (which i’ve only read in translation, so i’m not an authority) has never made any use of the english language as baffling and sublime and somehow primally interlaced with the stuff of human consciousness as “IF THE ZOO BANS ME FOR HOLLERING AT THE ANIMALS I WILL FACE GOD AND WALK BACKWARDS INTO HELL.”
This is my favorite post, I am so glad I found it again.
I love how she almost drops it until she smells it and that flashbulb memory hits.
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real … Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
This has been a public service announcement
How about you go fuck yourself and let people enjoy what they want.
Tough guy hiding behind a screen. Lolz. Tollz feeding trollz. Good job bruh. You make fun of people to feel better about yourself. Thank you for helping set back humanity a few years. Grow the fuck up and get a job. Oh wait, wasn’t that your advice?
I’m enjoying feeding this troll. Let’s see how high his standing is on a social media site because people ‘like’ his posts.
i’m loving these madden gifs
dont you dare think
for even a second
that nobody saw you
when you decided this waS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO PARK YOUR VEHICLE BECAUSE I SAW IT OKAY I FUCKING SAW IT YOUR CRAPPY PARKING JOB IS ON GOOGLE MAPS IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD
how did you find this
Okay Madden gifs are over we ran that into the ground in record time
you guys clearly do not remember the one night where everyone inexplicably made dozens of warped audio posts of the thwomp grunt from super mario 64 that lasted only a few hours never to be spoken of again